Monday, July 30, 2012

things i've done learnt.

Owen is almost one.  Twelve months.  He can do a lot, like throw things with herculean strength.  He can eat lint and even Cheerios.  Owen is very adept at crawling and high five-ing and slapping the cat in the face (only when she deserves it).  Some things he can't do.  For instance, he can't do algebra.  He doesn't have many words and he rarely dances.  I can't get him to hold his sippy cup even though I know he can.  Oh, and I can't convince him that his toys are infinitely more fun than the bookshelf.  With Owen reaching his one year milestone I too am reaching one.  Before Owen I was a naive albeit skinnier parenting novice.  Now I say "Parenting?  Old hat!"  I thought I'd do something original and make a list of things I've learned and things that have changed about me as I became a mom in my first year of parenting.

  1. Showers are unimportant.  Don't do today what you can put off until tomorrow.  Wash your face.  Brush your hair.  You've showered!  
  2. A clean shirt is a shirt that has no visible stains.  Sure you may smell bad, but the pee has already dried and it's sterile anyway.  Why change?  
  3. Dressing up consists of wearing pants that button.  I'm  only going to Walmart.  Who needs real pants?  Real pants are for Target.  
  4. Use a hair band for when you can not button your pants.  I still can't button mine.  Use the hair band.  You'll thank me later.  (Or maybe I'm just enabling myself)
  5. You're not as diametrically opposed to pajama jeans as you should be.  
  6. Feeding yourself is hard.  Feeding yourself, the baby, the cat, and the dog is REALLY hard.  Don't feel guilty if you can't make your own baby food when the husband is under way.  
  7. I knew breast feeding was important to me.  I didn't realize it was hospital stay, giant boob, 12 + months important to me.  I'll let you know the date and time of my boob job.  
  8. Each month I become less worried about something terrible happening to Owen.  I'm trying to live in the moment.  It's heavy to be in charge of a human.  Your own little human baby.  
  9. You'll most likely compare yourself to and resent moms that have managed to lose their baby weight.  Unless you are that mom who lost her baby weight, and in that case... I hate you.  
  10. Last thing.  Being a mom will make you cry during Hallmark commercials, even if you have no soul like me.  

1 comment:

Elise Goad said...

I love your blog :)
Thank you for being dedicated!