Keepin' it real is something I pride myself on. I've been wanting to blog about this for some time, but held back. However, I feel that if I keep this to myself any longer it would be tantamount to lying.
I've put on a lot of weight. This weight combined with a new center of gravity has the tendency to make me heavy footed. My steps ring out as if to announce to presence of their elephantine owner. That's not the draw back to heavy footed-ness that I would like to highlight. Pregnancy strips you of the fundamental power every woman cherishes- the ability to control your bodily functions. Sneeze? Pee your pants. Step a little too heavy? Fart in front of strangers and friends alike. My advice to you when you step heavy and let loose a trumpet blast announcing your pregnancy? (or laugh, or adjust your position, or if your standing still) Act like it didn't happen. Complete and total denial is your only option. I don't think kegels will stop the gas train.
And now your day has been kept real. you're welcome.
4 comments:
I love you :)
Chrissy
Seriously, I would feel like I was lying if I didn't comment on this by saying "you're right". I can hear you walking from here. Sometimes I think it's the local high school marching band playing a rendition of "who let the dogs out" but then I realize something. Schools out! It can't be them. So then I think, maybe it's the nearby step squad marching with pride and conviction. Well, they were out there but I can't imagine they would let someone in their squad with no rhythm so it couldn't be them either.
Your one heavy-footed mama. But, you can take solace in the fact that you now have a very big advantage in one area: kicking ass (the taking names portion, not so much, but kicking ass is your game).
Your welcome.
i like that the post that you have been holding in is the one that gets comments...why? because people like honesty! Honestly, I gained 40 pounds...yes 40 :)
Kaley,
I totally relate to this post. I had a full on rip fest ever time I went grocery shopping from 6 months on...they were loud and long...old men stared, and mothers with children gave dirty looks. I just kept carefully scanning the shelves for the cereal I wanted. Just remember, Owen is so worth it.
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