celebrating jessica simpson.

Did you know I was obsessed with Jessica in college?  I won't tell you how much.  Well, T-shirt, poster, DVD. That's how much.  I still love her, secretly.  Not so secretly I guess if I'm posting it on my blog.

Jessica Simpson is small of stature.  I believe she's only 5'3.  I'm developing a theory that petite woman get humongous when pregnant.  I'm talking "I gained 50 el-bees" pregnant.  This theory will make me feel infinitely more comfortable about my own gigantic weight gain.

Jessica.  You go girl!  Eat two brownies!  Drink that milkshake!  Do NOT do pre-natal yoga!  I love you. You and your 6 pound baby all wrapped up in that motherly layer of fat-love.

So, I salute you Jessica.  You are keepin' it real.  Really real.  Just as I did.  I won't even resent you when you get back into shape.  I'll just wink at you.

Also, Jessica has got some large bazungas going on.  Good for you girl, they've got to weigh ten pounds each.

 Oh, and I'm serious about celebrating the weight gain.  Here is one of the only pictures I can find that are post humidity and show me as swollen as I really got.  I may or may not have gone through all of my pictures and viciously deleted any that were too hideous, which is unfortunate... because now I can't prove how hideous I was.