body by baby.

The body can't go through this and come out unscathed.  

As I mentioned on my other blog, I tried on some old tired one piece bathing suits today.  Turns out my bust size has increased substantially... and on one side more than the other.  I held up my old (sexy) bikini.  It looked like butt floss.  My body was like, "Put that on me, I dare you!"  The Duggars may just be onto something with their modesty wear.  Wearing a spandex sheath forced me to really look at my body, instead of just sprinting by the mirror before I get in the shower, as I usually do.  Man, pregnancy (and french fries, I won't lie to myself) really did a number on me.  I don't think I like one thing about this old body.

• Feet-       1/2 size larger since giving birth.  
• Ankles-   Suspect.  Think they still might be cankle-ing.  
• Calf-       Actually not bad.  Might still like them.
• Knees-    Got some dry rot thing going on from the humidity. 
• Thighs-   of thunder.  When I put my pants on the legs shout "Godzirrah, Godzirrah!"
• Butt-        Flabby.
• Tummy-   It's tired.  It's resting.  
• Ribs-        Why didn't I go back to the doctor?  Looking weird.  
• Arms-       Not as bad since I started bench pressing Owen.  
• Face-        Swamp tan is really helping minimize double chin.  
• Hair-        Well, I didn't win Best Hair in high school for nothing.  

All you moms feel this way too, and if you don't, maybe you could mail me that self help book you've been reading.  

All that to say, I told Nick I wanted to lose weight and become more fit.  He told me if I set a goal and reach it, he will buy me TWO outfits from J. Crew AND a pair of shoes.  Okay, I negotiated the pair of shoes, but getting into a size (I'm not telling you!) again is going to be a real challenge.  My new mantra will be "I work out!" a la LMFAO.  

P.S. 

I didn't actually win best hair.  That's just a delusion I live in.